We have been having issues with my wife's youngest sister in terms of bullying and on-line harassment. She had asked us over Christmas if she could move out of her dad's place in Abbotsford and in with us in Burnaby. I wasn't thrilled with the idea as i am trying to get rid of kids not get more of them.
Her reason for wanting to leave was she was being teased and harassed by other girls because a boy liked her and not them. I am talking about a 17 year girl that is actually incredibly attractive, bright and funny. This coming from a guy that can't stand the rest of my wife's sisters. She is honestly the last person I thought would be teased at a high school. These girls were jealous and it was the only reason they picked on her. These taunts mostly came from facebook, twitter and tublr or instagram. I asked why she just didn't stay off of these things and she said at least if she followed what was happening she at least knew what she would be in for the next day at school. the sites were not necessarily picking on her directly but organizing how they would pick on her the next day or week. It also got other kids involved as I actually think they thought it was a game. Just staying off of social media doesn't necessarily stop or prevent the harassing. It could just be you burring your head in the sand.
We tried teachers and principles but my sister in-law begged us not to approach the parents of the other girls. All of if it turned out to be pretty much futile. As it turned out we could not get her into a school in Burnaby as the semesters are completely different between schools, we tried to explain the situation and she even offered to redo grade 11 but the school wouldn't register her.
She ended up returning to school prepared to deal with the bullying for the rest of the year. I went with her twice to school after a couple of bad incidents that actually involved older boys that stole and broke her phone, back pack etc. I made it clear to the one boy that the phone was mine and one way or another I was getting value out of my property, through him or his old man. Funny thing is the boy didn't even know why he got involved, everybody else was doing it and things slowly escalated. He actually paid my sister back for phone and the bullying pretty much stopped cold after that.
My sis doesn't talk much now about the girls or what happened but she has mentioned that she knows it is happening to another girl but she doesn't want to get involved for fear that they turn on her again. She is afraid to speak up and help out. Unbeknownst to her I have spoken with the principle a few times but he says the same thing I'm sure they all say, can't do anything unless people come forward and talk. Names, dates, details of incidences, he wants proof or else it is your word against mine.
Long story short I guess, it doesn't really matter if you are on social media or not, the word will get out. Kids feel that there is no real help that won't make the matter worse. Can't go to the parents as they are not around during school. Confronting the other parents will just make the perpetrators more angry. What can teachers do? Suspend a kid for a week, month? Maybe an expulsion?
I don't know, it is really tough. I have a boy in grade 12 and really have no idea what he does. We have been strict in the past and the first time we let the leash out he spends a night in the drunk tank. We finally threatned him with the one thing we know he loves and that is wrestling. We said no provincials if he doesn't smarten up. He smartened up and placed 4th in nationals. We monitor on-line activity but it is nothing to make another account at the library or friends place. It is tough to know 100%
I also have two young kids (2 and 4) and sometimes this world scares the #### out of me. I want them to be young and innocent forever but at times I went them to jaded and expect the worst from people.
I feel for parents. You don't want to worry but you worry...
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