[CaptainCrunch]

By the time that my parents had put my kids through school there was nothing left for me money wise, plus at the time my dad's relationship with me was completely toxic and we wouldn't bother making time for each other.

When I left the army and returned to school I was fortunate enough to be able to afford it with some generous donations from the federal and provincial governments. I took a great deal of pride in being able to pay those off.

When I was a teenager and wanted a car, I was given the choice of split costing with them but I would share the car with my mom and with my sisters, or I could find a way to buy my own car and insure it and gas it, so I worked paving in the summer and bought the crappiest cheapest car possible. But again there was a certain point of pride that I didn't need help.

My mom tried to help me out in school under the table, but it wasn't much, my parents had lost their business and their retirement savings in the great hate of the NEP program, but I made sure I paid them back.

I think that its great that you want to give a helping hand to your kids, its actually very admirable.

However there's a definite tough balancing point.

A leg up is sometimes not a leg up, its actually an ankle chain.

A assist on a down payment on a house is fine if they are ready to buy a house. To me its a point of principle that a kid saves for his damage deposit and that indicates that they are mature enough and smart enough to buy a house.

A leg up on an expensive car to me is really stupid, same with an expensive vacation or a travel around the world. There's a sense of accomplishment to earning those things and taking the time to make it really special.

I have a cousin who's parents bought them nice cars and houses and trips, and it actually in the long run really devalued these milestone events.

Just my 2 cents