[First Lady]

White Rock woman holds 'Lying Cheating Sale' to sell all her husband's stuff while he's 'gone with his floozie'

Read more: http://www.theprovince.com/White+Roc...#ixzz2NRTxLdAR

And text of ad in question. Spoilers some possible swears.

Spoiler!

3/9-3/10: LYING CHEATING SALE (White Rock, BC)
LAST MINUTE SPONTANEOUS ESTATE SALE. HUSBAND LEFT US FOR A PIECE OF TRASH. SELLING EVERYTHING WHILE HE IS GONE THIS WEEKEND WITH HIS FLOOZIE.

SELLING EVERYTHING AND MOVING HOUSE AFTER 10 YEARS OF MARRIAGE ....THIS IS ONE HUGE ASS ESTATE SALE...WAY TOO MANY ITEMS TO LIST...EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING FROM ART, FURNITURE, BOOKSHELVES, STORAGE CABINETS, HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES, BOOKS, SPORTS STUFF, BOYS AND GIRLS CLOTHING, ELECTRICAL APPLIANCES, TOYS, GAMES, PING PONG TABLE, FOOSBALL TABLE, GARDEN POTS, SPEAKERS, BUILDING SUPPLIES & LOTS OF TOOLS ETC.

ALSO SELLING HIS FAVORITE RED LEATHER THEATRE SEATING SOFAS. TWO OF THEM WHICH SEAT THREE PEOPLE EACH WITH RECLINER FUNCTION.

LOTS OF TOOLS WHICH HE DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE HOW TO USE. TABLE SAW, SUPER SIZE INDUSTRIAL LADDER, TOOL CABINETS. LAWNMOWER AND YARD TOOLS TOO.

BRAND NEW SLIDING GLASS DOOR THAT HE NEVER GOT INSTALLED IS AVAILABLE TOO.

I WANT THE HOUSE EMPTY ON MONDAY WHEN HE RETURNS BECAUSE THAT WILL BE A SHOCK FOR HIM TO SEE. SO COME PICK OUT WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE SATURDAY AND SUNDAY AT 8 AM.

DON'T COME TOO EARLY (LIKE HE DID) BECAUSE I WILL BE THOUROUGHLY ENJOYING SOME WINE WITH MY GIRLFRIENDS THIS EVENING AS WE CLEAN OUT ALL THIS STUFF AND LIKELY BE NURSING HANGOVERS IN THE MORNING. SO PLEASE SPEAK SOFTLY TO THE LADIES WEARING THE SUNGLASSES: )

THERE ARE NOT ANY OF HIS CLOTHES FOR SALE THOUGH AS WE WILL HAVE ALREADY BURNED THOSE IN THE DRIVEWAY. HOWEVER, YOU CAN SEE THE ASHES OF HIS CLOTHES THAT HE IS GOING TO SEE, FOR NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE.
ESTATE SALE IS CORNER OF MALABAR AVENUE (14TH AVE) AND BERGSTROM STREET (136TH STREET) IN THE BEAUTIFUL CITY OF WHITE ROCK.

ALSO, I AM PUTTING THE HOUSE UP FOR SALE NEXT WEEK TOO, SO IF YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO LIVE IN THIS BEAUTIFUL CITY, YOU CAN LOOK AT THE HOUSE THIS WEEKEND TOO BEFORE IT HITS THE MARKET. TWO STORY, OCEAN VIEW CORNER HOME NEXT TO SCHOOLS, PARKS AND TWO BLOCKS FROM THE OCEAN. GREAT HOME DESIGNED FOR FUN AND FAMILY, WITH A SEPARATE ENTRANCE DOWNSTAIRS SUITE.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WASTE TIME. GOD PUT MY EYES IN THE FRONT OF MY HEAD FOR A REASON. I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO MOVING FORWARD! SEE YOU TOMORROW AT 8 AM. FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED.