[Trailer Fire]

I regret sinking tens of thousands of dollars that I borrowed from family, friends, and banks into a business I thought was going to be a huge success. I was wrong.

What's more, I spent nearly every waking hour trying to make it work. From waking up at 3am to go bake, make various sandwiches and snacks, and generally get ready for the day, to going home 2 hours after closing time which was 9pm so I could clean up and prepare everything for the next day. My day off was spent making various business ventures to neighbouring towns to research and try to expand or were otherwise spent working in some way, be it shopping, experimenting or testing, or doing books. And there were lots of books.

I regret that I felt I had no other choice than to try to follow what I thought was my dream. I regret that I tried so hard to make it successful and it actually took away from the fact that I was engaged to be married, had a newborn son, and was starting a new life. I regret not being able to do more to make it work, but at the same time I'm glad there wasn't more I could do. If there was, I would have done it, and chances are I wouldn't have a family to love me, despite my debts and failures. I regret how much time I spent working at it, and how quickly it failed.

The thing I regret most about the whole situation is the mental toll it took on me. I'm actually seeking professional aid to help me deal with my stress. I actually have PTSD from all the crap I've dealt with. Its getting much, much better, but I still get stung by it once in a while.

I also regret eating so much pasta and chicken the past few days. I haven't gone twosie in a couple days.