[Halfcreek]

Originally Posted by JD

Without divulging too much of other peoples' details on the internet, here goes:
1) Couple moves far from Calgary, far from support systems. Kids consume their lives, wife eventually gets bored and cheats with someone from work. This one went back and forth between making up and not, too. They married at a young age due to a pregnancy and really didn't get along well in the early years of the marriage, but seemed to get things on track a couple years before moving away. The first couple years away seemed okay too.
2) Couple got married at 22ish, they were together through high school and beyond. Had a couple kids, the girl realized life wasn't exactly fulfilling and neither person was really providing the emotional needs the other required. This one was amicable, but over time after the divorce, the guy started to realize he somehow "lost" himself because he felt he was constantly catering to her needs and ignoring his own.
3) Couple was kind of a party couple. They had fun together when there was drinking and partying and going out. But they didn't really connect when real life reared its head. This was one you could predict on the wedding day.
4) The guy had medical issues and went on permanent disability from work and spiraled into malaise and maybe even depression. A separate traumatic event occurs that spurs the wife to realize life is too short to devote herself to this guy that has lost himself.
5) Couple was married for a year when the guy finds out the girl was cheating on him. Underlying cause was more likely because they had nothing in common. They never did anything together. Doomed from the start, IMO.
6) This couple never actually married, but were close to the date. There was a significant age (and as it turned out maturity) gap between them. The girl realized this months before the wedding and called it off so she could go live her life before settling into marital bliss.

Okay, 6 out 8 relationships failed. I guess it seemed like more because these all happened within a year of each other.

There are some happy endings though... Guy from couple #1 is now dating girl from couple #4. Girl from couple #1 is now married to the work friend and expecting her first girl, which she's thrilled about. Girl from couple #2 is engaged to a work friend. Guy from couple #2 is now rediscovering himself and actually quite excited about it. Guy from couple #3 is now dating his old high school sweetheart, who also happened to divorce at around the same time. These two divorces were totally unrelated. I don't know what the failure mechanism was in her marriage. Guy from couple #5 met a girl he has lots in common with and they now spend every weekend together in the mountains.

So even though a failed marriage seems like the worst thing ever at the time, they can actually be very valuable learning experiences! Life these days is as complex as ever, and people seem to have higher expectations than ever before. It's harder to keep a marriage going, especially when the exit ramp is so easily accessible.

I'm curious - were you friends the guys first or the girls first in these situations?