I think a lot of people get so caught up in the romance and then the wedding, they forget a marriage comes afterward. There's so much planning leading up to the thing, they forget to do some planning about the marriage - there's nothing wrong with a little planning, because it's ok to have an idea of what's what and what each of you believe and how you think about things. But it can't be one sided. Marriage is work. A lot of hard work, a lot of give and take - including fun, which means he should get some guy time, time for his interests and same for her. But again, there has to be balance and it sounds like both couples haven't found it nor are they much willing to work towards it. Lots of 'have their cake and eat it too' - that never works well for anyone.
However, unless there's some sort of abuse going on, I'd stay out of it for the most part. You could be inviting more drama into your life than you could ever want. I'm not saying cut them out altogether but don't make their problems yours. Just be careful.
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