-I like Mormons.
-Guns don't kill people; escaped lions kill people. Ban zoos!
-Ray Lewis got away with murder.
-Political correctness, "feel-good" politics, and other self-crippling BS is the reason that Western civilization is pucked.
-Corollary: Free speech is dead.
-Failure to use soap after urinating is a sign of low intelligence. "Surely everyone else wants to shake my penis as much as I do, right?"
-Life was better before the internet.
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