This scenario might fit the request:
Need to find just the right animal at a taxidermy shop: something hefty, solid, no taller than a baseball bat... maybe with a solid stand or base.
The part two is to find the right opportunity to bludgen the victim with the recent purchase.
not elegant, but I don't know where to find an adult chimpanze to purchase, transport and lock in the same room as the victim.
(unless I can find a chimpanze at the taxidermy shop)
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