[EddyBeers]

See I am glad I got on this site to find out what true sexual abuse is. Cause I saw this pamphlet http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/ncfv-cniv...adomales_e.pdf

and it really led me astray

The Criminal Code of Canada includes laws
about sexual activity to protect people,
especially young people, from exploitation
and abuse. The laws recognize that some
people are able to dominate and use others
simply because they have more power.
Some people are stronger, bigger, older,
smarter or richer than others. Some may
have positions of authority and trust, like
parents, teachers or coaches. Some have
weapons. Laws about sexual behaviour
are designed to protect less powerful
people from more powerful people.

and

When Jerry was 15 his father died and his mother took in boarders
to help pay the bills. When Susan, who was 20, moved in as a
boarder, she was new to town, looking for a job and she was lonely.....She invited Jerry to come into her bedroom at night, and they were
soon having sexual intercourse. This was Jerry’s first sexual experience,
and he felt quite proud of himself.....Then Susan met a man her own age. As soon as
she started that relationship she told Jerry that
she couldn’t be bothered spending any more
time with a ‘kid’.
Jerry was humiliated, and could hardly believe
that she could be so cold to him all of a sudden.
It shook his confi dence, and for a long time
Jerry was afraid to have a girlfriend. Even when
he became an adult, he had diffi culty keeping
a girlfriend because he really didn’t trust any
women.
Sexual abuse by females is often not reported or
even seen as abusive. As a teenage boy, you’re
under strong social and peer pressure to ‘score’
sexually. You’re often taught to believe that a sexual
experience with an older female is a great way to
learn about sex. You may have been taught that a
‘real man’ never passes up a sexual opportunity.
It would have been better for Jerry if he had
been able to talk to a counsellor after the abuse
had ended. But Jerry refused to admit he’d been
sexually or emotionally abused. He felt that he
wouldn’t be a ‘real man’ if he had to admit that. And
a lot of his friends believed that having sex with

I wish Jerry would have just sucked it up

I also wish someone would shrinks like this to quit "citing" supposed effects of this blessed event

The result of this abuse by a woman can be a false sense of power, inflating the boy to believe that he is more powerful than he really is. He is led into the false belief that he is in control, not realizing or understanding that he is being used and controlled.
Conversely, the abuse can also lead to a feeling of worthlessness. The boy inhales the message that “I have no value, my body is all that has value or what I can do for others.” There is no personal sense of value or worthiness.
The boy is eventually going to feel abandoned, and will likely feel betrayed. The woman or girl was not there for him in the first place. When he realizes this, then his picture of what has occurred will change dramatically. After the inflation comes the deflation from the withdrawal and realization that what happened was not about him, that he was only being used. All of this results in rage—rage about the impact upon their sexuality, rage about being used, rage about how it has messed up his relationships with other women, and rage at not being able to really trust or let anyone get really close.
It was an overwhelming experience and the boy was incapable of processing or understanding what had happened to him. He freezes inside, or simply pushes the memory so far to the background that he can’t touch it. Unfortunately, he is shutting off an essential part of himself that will need to be reclaimed before he is able to trust and heal. So the adult is left with fears of intimacy and loads of insecurity.
For many men, the most devastating blow is the impact upon their relationships with women. The abuse experience can leave them ambivalent about sex and about women. While it cannot change their sexual orientation, it will leave them deeply conflicted. Being close to a woman is likely to bring up old unresolved feelings, which get in the way of having a real relationship in the here and now.