Well this year I have no girlfriend, no commitments, and nothing to do, so I'm going to get off my face wasted at some poor friends house, annoy his wife, poison his kids with conspiracy theories, and hopefully vomit off his patio. Cigars will be lit, lies will be told, and I will stumble home with a new-found sense of dignity for a job well done.
So yeah, I won't be surprised if no one takes my calls this year. You know who you are.
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