Quote:
Originally Posted by gargamel
Women getting smacked in the face is disgusting...
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This here is a big problem in trying to discuss pornography. Not the specific sentiment, but the whole line of thinking.
You can't tell whether something is disgusting by judging the act alone. You can't even tell if it's okay if you know the people, because sometimes it can be okay and sometimes it's not. It's extremely difficult to tell from the outside.
The most vanilla imaginable missionary-with-foreplay porn can be a terribly traumatizing experience to someone who is doing it for the wrong reasons or against his/her will. I don't think the abusiveness is in the act itself, but it's something between the people involved which you can't necessarily see from the outside.
Which is actually why I'm uncomfortable with a lot of porn, rough or vanilla.
I consider myself above average in reading people and with above average experience with submissive women and rough sex, but I still often can't tell what's really going on in the porn I see. And if I can't tell, I'm guessing most other people watching it can't tell either, and that kind of bothers me, especially considering how much rougher the mainstream of porn has gotten.
(There are some stars with whom I can relax and just enjoy the show. And they tend to indeed be stars, because being able to project that enjoyment through the screen is what brings in the star status.)
However, I know enough about BDSM and BDSM-oriented people to know that there are surprisingly many people who specifically like being "treated badly". And I don't mean being just aggresive and unapologetic, I mean specifically making them feel used and abused.
I had a girlfriend once who's idea of really good sex meant that the next day or two she would have bruises all over and she couldn't chew properly or sit or walk without hurting. In her fantasies she regurarly got no physical pleasure at all. (Yeah, I found that odd too.) Sure, she is not the most perfectly balanced person in the world, but she's doing well in her life and seems to enjoy life more than most people I know.
Of course, most women propably don't enjoy being slapped during sex, no matter how or why it's done.
Then again, most women would never do porn either.
And I think a lot of people have had some kind of sex that had little to do with their own physical pleasure, and I don't think that's inherently bad.
What the bottom line here? I'm not really sure. But one thing is sure;
Sex is complicated, and porn is IMO even more complicated because you don't know the people and can't talk to them.
I think generalizations like "act X is disgusting" should be avoided. (Unless of course we are talking about personal preferences, which is a different matter.)