[Wormius]

Originally Posted by Oy Tiggins

NSFW language

Because FOX sucks, and I clearly have too much time on my hands.

Hitchhiker: You heard of this thing, the 5-Hour Body?
Ted: Yeah, sure, 5-Hour Body. Yeah, the excercise book.
Hitchhiker: Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 4... Hour... Body.
Ted: Right. Yes. OK, all right. I see where you're going.
Hitchhiker: Think about it. You walk into a bookstore, you see 5-Hour Body sittin' there, there's 4-Hour Body right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?
Ted: I would go for the 4.
Hitchhiker: Bingo, man, bingo. 4-Hour Body. And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 5-hour folk.
Ted: You guarantee it? That's - how do you do that?
Hitchhiker: If you're not happy with the first 4 hours, we're gonna send you the extra hour free. You see? That's it. That's our motto. That's where we're comin' from. That's from "A" to "B".
Ted: That's right. That's - that's good. That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 3-Hour Body. Then you're in trouble, huh?
[Hitchhiker convulses]
Hitchhiker: No! No, no, not 3! I said 4. Nobody's comin' up with 3. Who works out in 3 hours? You won't even get your heart goin, not even a mouse on a wheel.
Ted: That - good point.
Hitchhiker: 4's the key number here. Think about it. 4, man, that's the number. 4 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.
Ted: Why?
Hitchhiker: 'Cause you're ####in' fired!