Quote:
Originally Posted by gargamel
Jealousy is the primary reason that adultery threatens marriages though. Jealousy really comes down to treating people like property. She is MY woman, or he is MY man. I'm not denying that I instinctually feel that way too, but, philosophically, I don't think that it's right.
|
That's partially true, I think there's an important part of the equation that's missing here, particularly applying to a modern concept of marriage. It's not just that 'she is MY woman,' it's equally that 'I am HER man'. This can, and should, be a very humbling part of the marriage experience: that you are giving up your absolute autonomy. Jealousy often comes not from possessiveness (the 'ownership' side of things), but from insecurity (the 'belonging' side of things). It's worth asking whether feelings of jealousy are really about how you feel about the other person; or are they about how you feel about yourself.
Or perhaps this is just me trying to frame jealousy as a positive emotion (need to belong) rather than negative (desire to possess). There's certainly a point where jealousy becomes destructive, but I don't think it can be dismissed as simply an archaic emotion that doesn't serve a role in modern relationships.