Quote:
Originally Posted by photon
Probably, but why would it necessarily end up with resentment issues unless someone has unreasonable expectations? People's libido changes over time, ebbs and flows, so even if they were in the same ballpark they won't stay that way.
If one partner makes advances and the other is not in the mood, so they go have a bath with their iPad and entertain themselves instead, how should that breed resentment in either one?
I could see if there was no communication or if someone was deceiving themselves ("their libido will improve when we get married") I could see it being an issue, but that's not strictly a problem with unequal libido (which is almost guaranteed to happen), it's a relationship problem.
Or is a problem with unreasonable views of masturbation or poor self esteem issues (if they're masturbating and they're not thinking of me that's cheating).
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But what's an unreasonable expectation? If someone has a higher libid, but doesn't enjoy masturbating, or subconsciously needs the increased oxytocin that comes with sexual interaction with a partner, and subsequently want sex more than their partner does, is that an unreasonable expectation? And I think the resentment comes from the rejection of the advances, which again goes back to my point about reciprocal affirmation.
I think there's probably also Pavlovian effect to that as well. If one is rejected to many times, there's going to come a point where porn produces a more consistently positive outcome, which would therefore become a more enticing proposition and likely lead to less attempts with the partner.