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Originally Posted by rubecube
Yes and no. I think it's pretty common for one partner to have a higher sex drive than the other for any variety of reasons, whether physical or psychological.
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For sure, the chances that they'd be identical are pretty much zero.
Porn in marriage is a complex issue, if there's already issues in the relationship then porn can exacerbate them (or even become the focus when it really isn't the focus), or if there's a good relationship then porn can be more easily dealt with or contribute to enhance the relationship.
Religion can just make those things harder, I saw many times where a man would get up in front of the congregation and publicly apologize to his wife in front of the congregation for viewing porn, crying, repenting, guilt, shame.. it was terrible.
How much of that was actual porn addiction interfering with the relationship? And how much of that was simply expectations of the partner based on their understanding of their religion? Religion can impart and demand such an unforgiving rigidity that that rigidity and expectation itself is the thing that creates the problem, not the fact that your partner takes care of their drive by themselves once in a while. The expectations prevent any chance of communication, any chance of a reasonable response, so the only option is either to hide it, or let the expectation destroy the relationship.
If both partners are open to communication then it's easier to understand. If it's interfering with the relationship then they can discuss how to change it so that both parties needs are met (if that means don't ask don't tell, or changing the "kind" of porn watched (I find anything that degrades women offensive), or whatever) then that should be the objective.
But if one partner is so rigid that there's zero ability to even communicate without destroying things, then the other partner can resort to hiding then when things eventually come out there's a whole betrayal/lying factor that makes it worse, when if both sides approach things reasonably that could be avoided.
This is one area that, like kids and religion, should be discussed extensively in a relationship before making it more permanent. What's each partner's view on the issue? Are they compatible, or will it become an issue?