Writing this from Mexico with 4 yr old and 4 month old. Car seat for infant is easiest thing to put into seats. I've never needed an extension belt for one. Forward facing is slightly trickier but a tip is to reach behind the fabric cover to clasp the belt and then yank from outside to tighten.
My wife and I used to tag team for boarding. I would board with car seat and carry on, get it all stowed and secured, and she'd burn out the kid outside the plane. Now with two its not so easy...
Weird rule about empty seat on flights to the USA is apparently non us airlines can't give seats to passengers who are unpaid. We heard this from both Air Canada and Westjet. To make it easier, I almost always buy a seat for the toddler anyway. The cost is worth the peace of mind.
Good luck, and don't worry about other people on the flight. Our oldest has gone to Spain, Mexico x 2, Hawaii, across Canada and USA a few times as well. The flights are never that long even though they seem like it at the time. 2 hrs after your flight, you'll be relaxing somewhere on the beach or pool.
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