Ultimately your wife either has to put a stop to it OR give you the permission to completely ignore her family while she simply receives the mudslinging and lets it drip off of her (if she is at all influenced by it it won't work). The second thing was really how we dealt with things the past few years until the incident this summer when we went the route of simply putting a complete end to things.
Either way, the one thing that needs to happen is that they need to respect YOUR home and YOUR rules in the home as you would (presumably) respect their rules. Or you could go by one of the Ten Commandments:
"if someone is doing harm to you tell them to stop. If they continue DESTROY them."
Sure it's the Church of Satan but.....
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