Quote:
Originally Posted by tenyardrambo
I just got married few months ago. The inlaws are from hell.
They are 'pick and choose' religious, which means they will implement their beliefs when they decide, usually(it seems) whenever they talk to myself/wife.
My wife is like a softie and a punching bag for her parents/siblings. I have told my wife if she doesn't want to do anything with them, just stick up for yourself and say NO. She gets bombarded with texts and calls stating she is selfish, controlled, dumb and many other names.
On the weekends, we sometimes have a bbq and drink a few beer. Because the inlaws saw in the recylcing bin a few beer cans, we are all alcoholics and that I am influencing her into 'sin'. That drinking beer is causing my wife to not act her old self. They stated if we dont stop having beer on the weekends they demand to see all our financial information, pay stubs and go to AA. We buy one 15 pack of beer and it lasts 4-5 weeks. My wife had a small bruise on her leg and apparently I beat her up according to my inlaws due to drinking, this then spreads like wildfire and the lies grow from there. I have been called all names in the book for doing nothing, just living a married life.
Occasionally there will be a random knock on the door to see if we are drinking on the weekends.
This family believes in government freebies. Trying to get into the 'disabled' category when there is nothing wrong with them.
I have told them they are being intrusive and it is pissing me off, yet it only ends in argument. Any advice? lol
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It sounds to me that someone had an alcoholic in their life and it didn't go well. Do you know your in-laws history with alcoholism? When I say alcoholism I don't mean to imply that they are/were alcoholics but someone close to them may have been.
It would explain the irrational response to a few beer cans in the recycling (which is another issue, glass bottles are way better, not just for beer, pop and juice as well. Don't know why but the taste is far superior).
It would also explain the irrational conclusion that a small bruise equals abuse.
When did the texting or name calling start? Before or after the her can discovery?
What was your relationship like before your marriage? After but before the discovery of beer cans? Were her parents at the wedding? Was their alcohol at the reception (I mean it was a wedding right?).
Essentially I think you need to brainstorm logical reasons as to why your in-laws are reacting how they are. Calling them bat crap crazy doesn't seem to add up as
1) their daughter is presumably normal (hence your desire to marry her)
2) the in-laws didn't deter the marriage, and presumably didn't try to stop it
Come up with scenarios as to why they would rationally act this way (ie: alcoholic family member) then discuss the situation with your wife. Then come up with various options to proceed (ie: the pastor idea, but I don't think you have enough to go to them with).
No matter what you do, you want to find a solution not an ultimatum.
I realize it's easy for me to type this out from across the country not being in your shoes (but I am typing on a touch screen smartphone so it isn't *that* easy). But I hope this pos helps you calmly a d rationally move forward in solving your issues and hopefully allows for a lo g and happy relationship with your in-laws.
But seriously, with very limited info check to see if there are alcoholic family members that became abusive and ruined their lives. Perhaps grandpa didn't handle his experience overseas too well?