Sounds like they were likely problems before the marriage before, yes?
And if your wife is a "softie", I can't help but think she has suffered some degree of emotional abuse from these crazy folks? That's unfortunate.
This is about the time where you have to man up and defend yourself and your wife, even if it worsens things in the short term. In-laws are like pets - you show them you are the pack leader, and they'll respect you for it eventually.
By the way, are they gypsies by any chance?
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