^ This. Life is too short to waste it on abusive a-holes. I cut my grandparents out of my life becuase they are emotionally abusive alcoholics.
You need to make 100% sure that you and you're wife are on the same page. I agree with the Photon who suggested you let her take the lead on it since it's her family. However, you need to remember that you and her are a NEW family and do everything you can to protect it.
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