[pylon]

As someone who is a very recent 'suicide survivor' (god I hate that term) I have empathy for the family more than all else. In our particular case, bullying was not the cause. There was a finger that could be pointed to someone, in fact a few people, that could have changed the course of events, and saved a loved one from doing what they did. A lot of people want to place blame at "So and so should have said this." or "Such and such should have done that." But at the end of the day, the ultimate decision was made, the person has found their peace, and our family now has to suffer for the rest of their lives asking themselves "What did I do wrong? I should have intervened. Why didn't I see the signs?" MO MATTER WHAT anybody tells you, you will live with that forever.

I never understood the term "It is a selfish act." Until I had to live through the fall out, and resulting consequences, both mentally, and lets be honest, financially as funerals are not cheap. I miss the hell out of the person I lost, and would do anything to get them back. I would give my own life if it could change the course of history, because so much potential was lost and their impact on this world could have been greater than I could have ever made. But I can't. I have to live with this doubt that I failed the rest of my life. I have to avoid looking at years worth of pictures that now rip my heart out, instead of filling it with happiness every time I look at them.

This is what scares me. Kids see this outpouring of support when people take their lives now in media. This incredible level of sympathy and kind words that pour out when they are gone, and the hatred, and wrath that their tormentors have to live through as a result. They are getting what they wanted all along. Acceptance, sympathy, and payback. What they fail to think through, is that it is game over. Lights out. You are never waking up or having another thought.

I can understand the pain of depression. But not all suicide is the result of it. A low point in life, or sadness doesn't exactly equal clinical depression. It is just exactly what it is, a low point in life. I fear that the media putting so much attention on these kids that are doing this, they are doing the exact opposite, and giving a lot of teenagers and young adults, who tend to be incredibly impulsive, a rationale to do something just for the post humous attention.

I really, really hope they can find a solution for the internet hate machine. But no matter how you slice it and dice it. You can unplug the computer. And you can walk away if it is hurting you. As many mean words as someone can sling at you, it is not a rational nor balanced reaction is to murder yourself. These bullies, as vile as they can be, don't put the pills in your mouth, the gun in your hand, or the belt over the rafters. And the people you ultimately end up hurting the worst, are the only ones that cared for you in the first place, and you will hurt them until the day they die. And in the the bully? They will forget all about it and move on because they were born an unsympathetic a-hole anyway.