[Maritime Q-Scout]

Thanks for the help, I ended up giving advice to the bride and groom individually.

To the Bride: when you're frustrated and angry at your now husband remember that you can't expect him to make you happy 100% if the time. It's not that he doesn't want to, it's that men and women have different levels of happiness. Women meet a special guy and start dating and they're HAPPY, then they get engaged and tell all their friends they're going to get married and they're HAPPY, then they get have a wedding and dress up like a snow princess and they're HAPPY, then they have children and get to relive all his through hem and they're HAPPY!

You know what makes a man happy? Beer, Pizza, XBox. Remember to keep that in mind, it's not really his fault.

To the groom: this advice will seem counter intuitive at first, but hear me out. Have kids, have them right away! *pause for horrified look on groom's face* hear me out. You are no of your castle, you just married your beautiful queen, this is your chance to make people and rule them!


(For the other standup comedy nerds, if that sounds familiar it's a play on a couple Tom Papa bits, thanks Tom!)