So I had been smoke free for 18 months and feeling good about it. I had no desire of smoking again and I was totally fine fighting any urges that I used to have(after a meal, right after work, right when I got in my car, while I was drinking) I was a quitter and I was so happy.
Back in July, my life changed as my father suddenly passed away at the age of 59. It was not expected and it hit me pretty hard. The day it happened, I had 3 smokes and I felt sick. But the week leading up to the funeral wasn't getting any easier and I found myself with a pack in hand. I smoked 4 packs during that awful week, but I told myself I'd be a non smoker again on the Monday after the funeral. I was able to quit again for about a week, but then I broke down and gave in and now, I'm a ef'n full smoker again and I'm so mad at myself. I'm smoking as much as I used to, about 12-15 smokes per day.
I didn't find it all that tough to quit 18 months ago, a couple rough days off the start, but once I was thru those, I was fine, but it's a matter of committing to those first rough patch.
I hope I can get back on the right track soon.
|