Just figured out the hitting part of my question (BAGM mode, offline). The sliders are "switched", at least in my opinion, from what you would expect. When you're adjusting the CPU hitting power, you're not adjusting how much power the CPU hits with, you're adjusting how easy it is to knock down the CPU - so the further you have it to the right, the easier it is to smash the CPU players. Ditto for the human one, sliding it to the right makes your players easier to knock down. To make them harder, move the slider left.
I'm not sure which other sliders are like this, but I'm going to keep playing with some of the other ones like poke check, etc. to try to get the game more balanced.
I'm also questioning whether anyone at EA actually tested this game prior to release. All of the CPU's goals are being scored in the exact same part of the net. It's a bit ridiculous.
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