All through junior high and high school I was firmly placed in the friend zone. I heard all the standard stuff "just too good of friends", "you're like a brother", etc. I became what Brad Blanton refers to as Liars Committing Suicide where you lie to yourself so convincingly that it's like you cover your own tracks and don't even realize you're doing it. The transaction in my mind was the nicer I am the more she will like me, so if I just be really nice then she will have to like me. Of course this almost never works and I became bitter and resentful not only towards her but all women in general.
Towards the end of high school and after so many years of frustration I just said f*&k it and gave up. Not surprisingly after that I started dating another girl which gave me a lot more confidence with women in general. Fast forward a few years after graduation, me and the original girl still talk but something had changed. I wasn't Mr. Nice Guy, I gave up all the manipulated behavior from the past, I didn't feel like she owed me anything. Then one night I was over at her place and we ended up hooking up. We dated for about a year and a half after that. What's funny is the relationship was pretty terrible and the only reason it strung out so long was because of all the baggage from the past.
So as a guy who has escaped the friend zone is this my advice is this. What you need to realize is that she isn't manipulating you; you are manipulating her, and despite what people on the internet tell you it's not impossible to get out but it's probably not worth it either.
|