The Higher Power/God/Him piece is much more a product of when it was written than any overt religious intent. There are many, many people in AA and similar programs who are not religious at all. They (and you) just need to figure out what a "Higher Power" means to them. It can be as simple as a group of people. Many minds are a higher power than one. In my opinion, what the higher power and step one are most about is releasing ego.
If it were entirely within your control, you would not need to reach out to a 12 Step group. There would be no such thing as relapse. What you need to do, in my opinion, is accept that you need help (Step 1), find something external to yourself that can help (Step 2), and accept that help (Step 3).
The best thing you can do at this point is to reach out to the other people in the group you are in and get their ideas of how the steps work for them, because it is different for each person. Find someone you can talk to who has been through it. You don't need to pick the "rah rah thank god" poster boy - find someone you can relate to. If your group doesn't end up feeling like quite a fit, try another one.
12 Step groups aren't for everyone. But they do help a lot of people. So give it an honest try. Talk. Share. Discover what it can or can't do for you. Because if you walk in there focused on the bits that bother you, that's all you'll see.
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