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Originally Posted by hulkrogan
It's not shallow, it's finding people that you get along with. I prefer someone I can spontaneously dash out of the house with if something fun comes up, or take off to explore first thing in the morning on vacation without waiting for someone to do my makeup. I know I'm impatient that way, so finding someone like that takes one source of relationship strife out. Obviously if I met someone who was an amazing person in every other way I'd get over it, but for me, if I got on a first date with a girl and she's in yoga pants, I'm not judging.
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Perhaps I misspoke. I interpreted your comment to mean people in general, not just women you are interested in having a relationship with. If you were referring to a potential mate, then I see your point and I apologize. Personally, I prefer a healthy balance between the two extremes. My girlfriend presents herself well, but doesn't take ages to get ready.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hulkrogan
I dressed the same when I met her and started dating. That's my point. I was just myself, and she had nothing to be disappointed by later when I resumed dressing like a 12 year old boy. That combo worked for me, and it worked for her.
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Yes it worked for both of you, but it's not working for the OP (assuming he doesn't care about his dress - he hasn't chimed in for a while haha). I can't speak for him, but I can speak for myself. I had no luck with girls whatsoever until I started taking pride in my appearance. Did my clothes alone do the job? Of course not. Dressing better increased my confidence (which was lacking), which I think we all agree is a hugely important thing. My confidence helped me attract women.
I guess I am assuming that the OP isn't confident and that dressing well could help. Obviously you are confident in your appearance - all the power to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hulkrogan
The OP should just be himself. I know lots of guys and girls that take pride in the way they dress, and they should do so accordingly on dates to stay true with who they are.
Nothing is worse than dating someone for a month and watching the show they were putting on for you slowly deteriorate.
For example, I HATE it when girls pretend to be Flames fans because they know you are a huge Flames fan. I would be fine dating/marrying a non-hockey fan, so don't pretend you really like watching it and then start complaining when I come over and turn the game on because that is something I thought you were interested in.
See where I'm going with this? Dressing up is great and fine, if that's who you are.
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Hmm, I don't know if I totally agree. I like to dress well, but dressing well isn't "who I am". Don't we all hide something from our partners in the beginning of a relationship? Should women not wear makeup? Should men fart and belch in public on a first date?
I think I understand your point, and I am happy that your approach worked for you (congratulations). But, if you're having problem with girls and asking for help, aren't you trying to change "who you are"?