[Handsome B. Wonderful]

Originally Posted by Sr. Mints

Oh boy . . .

First, don't listen to BCgirl about the apple. An apple fundamentally ruins the entire pig roast before it even begins.

Second, you need a willing 'pig.' You may think this is as easy as walking into a butcher or grocery store and tracking one down, but the truth is, if it were that easy we'd all be having pig roasts all the time.

No . . . skip the butcher, and head out on a night in the town with the guys--you'll have more luck finding one. I suggest nightclubs, maybe the U of C bar. The trick, I imagine--or 'secret ingredient,' if you will--is alcohol. You want the 'pig' to have marinated in booze for several hours, it likely will be more cooperative and willing to be roasted that way.

Once you do track down a 'pig,' you have to be quick. It spoils very quickly, and the marinating only lasts so long.

You mention "a bunch of guys." Ideally, two is all you want: yourself and another. Unless Number 3 doesn't want to participate in your pig roast . . . Not my thing, but whatever floats your boat.

Setting it up is actually quite easy. No need for a grill, coals or fire--a soft surface with warm blankets and pillows is all you need. You will need to bring your own utensils, obviously, and wrappers, because you never know who's handled your 'pig' before you. Some people are filthy.

To begin, you want to get the 'pig' on all fours. Make sure it has good position or your pig roast could be a disaster or over more quickly that you'd like. The key to a good pig roast is slow cooking, even temperatures, and that your quests are all comfortable and having a good time. Don't burn the meat.

Do your recommend basting it?