[CaptainCrunch]

She's one of those really annoying people that think that restaurants like Chilli's and Outbacks are just dying to make alterations to their menu just for her.

"Yeah, I'd like to order the cheese burger, but can you replace the patty with a chicken filet, and replace the tomatoes with lightly seared truffles.

Oh and I'd like the Fries to be cut width wise instead of lengthwise, and salted with egyption salt instead of American salt.

I want a coked with precisely 10 ice cubes but they must be round cubes not square views.

And I'd like the apple pie ala mode but I want the apple replaced with sliced potatoes and the ice cream replaced with cottage cheese."

"Of course ma'am would you like my pubic hair on your burger or as a gently cooled side?"

I bet when she comes into a restaurant for a second time the wait staff goes running and she's actually served by the bathroom attendant.

I bet there's a picture of her on the cash register with a sign, please garnish generously with bodily fluid.