Quote:
Originally Posted by Hockeyguy15
So go see a shrink, no shame in that. You sound like you don't want to go down that path again and that is probably the biggest thing. If only 5% of people change that probably only means 5% of them are aware they have a problem.
Go see someone and they will be able to give you tools to deal with whatever issues you have.
Also have you tried writing a letter or an email to your ex apologizing for all the stuff you are sorry for? Not a letter to get back together with her, just an actual apology?
I imagine laying it out there will go a long way to help you (and probably her) heal too...She would appreciate some closure too, and knowing that you knew you were a dick might help her. But like I said, it shouldn't be an attempt to get back with her, just I'm sorry I was a dick no strings attached kind of thing.
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While I agree with the SHrink thing, the original post sounds like he was not only emotionally abusive, but alsom manipulative and a dominant personality. I think him writing a email or letter to her might make him feel better or asserted, but wouldn't do much to give closure to a girl that was clearly the submissive in the relationship.
the rest of his get it off of my chest where he's comparing old to new, losing sleep, dumping school etc sounds a little frightening to me and a bit obsessive.
Heinz, don't write the old gf, don't contact her in anyway, not to be mean, but she is better off without you in her life at any level or anyway, and honestly go and find a shrink today, and get help today, before you do re-establish on your current GF.
You doing anything towards your old girlfriend will not bring her closure, it will probably open old wounds or scare the hell of her, or worse of all make her try to get back into your life or vise versa.
For emotionally or physically abusesive people the first step towards treatment is realizing that your victim or whatever is far better off with you as far away from her as possible, and usually emotionally or physically abusive personalities use apologies etc as another tool in their manipulative toolbox, just like they use the whole I am going to change please baby I have changed.
Sorry for the brutallity of this post, but Heinz, you need a bit of a realism check here, emotionally or physically abusive people don't just change unless they get some serious help to not only understand the root cause but to change key behaviour. The fact that you very quickly jumped into another relationship is troubling to.
The good thing is that you're admitting that you have a problem. You might not be able to self check it, and a reality check will only go so far. Please find help and do it today.