I think things like this depend on the place you're going a little bit, too.
My company has been trying to get some of us Canadians to relocate to Abu Dhabi for about a year now, thus far unsuccessfully. So I've been looking into this a little bit too.
It seems that most expats here in the UAE get some sort of housing allowance, which is enough to pay for a decent-sized flat in the city that can fit your family. But on that side of it, in a Muslim country, what defines your "family" is different. For instance, you would need to make your girlfriend your wife to be able to bring her. I digress... Obviously, housing in the UAE is quite expensive so companies are almost forced to offer something to that end to make the offers attractive. I would guess that Amsterdam isn't cheap either.
Flights home... they seem to be offering 3 times a year. To me, that was too little and a big part of the reason I have been declining. But that's probably a good place to start when asking.
Paying for the settling of assets at home (storage of things, mortgage payments, etc)... my company has offered no such thing. In their minds, you have relocated and therefore they have no obligation to what you leave behind, especially when they essentially pay your living costs in your host country. This may depend on whether your contract is explicit in that this is a temporary arrangement.
Gf's flights... if they're sponsoring your gf's visa, she is part of your package, so yes, I'd be requesting they pay for those in that case. Again, not sure what the rules are in the Netherlands re: visas. In the UAE, the company would have to sponsor a "family visa" which would cover you, your wife, your kids.
To that end, most companies in the UAE would also offer a schooling allowance to pay for your kids' schooling. However, that's mostly due to the fact that private schooling is the only option here.
Anyway, like I say, there may be nothing in common here, but just for comparison sake....
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