[MarchHare]

http://www.calgaryherald.com/touch/s...tml?id=6057772

Officer: Good evening.

Love: Good evening.

Officer: Anything to drink tonight?

Love: Yup. We had some wine.

Officer: OK. I am going to ask you to take a breathalyzer test. Are you OK with that?

Love: No problem. (Test is taken, and the result is .05).

The officer stands up, pulls a card out of his fluorescent green vest and reads the following:

Officer: Mr. Love, you have broken no law. You are being charged with nothing. You have been convicted of nothing. You have harmed no one. Nonetheless, you have no opportunity to object or appeal what I am about to do.

Therefore, by the powers vested in me by the government, I am confiscating your vehicle and suspending your driving privileges for three days.

[...]

Love: Is there any way I can appeal this arbitrary roadside confiscation of my personal property by the state?

Officer: I’m not a lawyer. All I know is: three points safe of .08 and you are still busted. By the way, sir, are you in favour of drunk driving?

Love: Of course not. But if I am not legally impaired, and if I have broken no law, and neither been charged or convicted of anything, then civil liberties, the Charter of Rights, the rule of law and limits on the right of the state to seize private property are actually quite important to me.

Officer: Well, talk to the politicians about that.

Love: So, do I just call a cab?

Officer: Up to you. Having broken no law, having been formally charged with nothing, and having been convicted of nothing, you are free to go without your car, and you are free to take cabs for the next three days. Keys please.

Love: Who pays for the towing charge and the fees at the impound lot?

Officer: I’ll give you one guess. Thank you again for not driving while legally impaired.