I am not even a coffee snob, but still think Tim Hortons sucks. Here is why:
- You are borderline ######ed if you are willing to stand in line or wait more than 3 minutes in a drive through for a really bad-mediocre cup of coffee. Drink a Tim Hortons coffee black, if you want to see how horrible it is.
- Their advertising is insulting to Canada's collective intelligence.
- Old Tim Horton people wearing Kirkland Jeans, and Velcro Dewalt shoes that treat ordering a frikkin bowl of soup and a bun, like an order of Foie Gras at La Chaumière.
- People that excessively say "Going to Timmies'". Wow, saying Timmies saved you a whole syllable over saying Tim Hortons. Grab some 'bevies and appies' while you are there jerkwad.
- People who treat it like some sort of Canadian Institution. I am in Vegas on the Weekend, at The Wynn Hotel. The Coffee they serve in their boutique coffee shop is unreal good. What you would expect in one of the best hotels on the planet. And some dork face from Canada is sitting at the next table spoutin off "Oh boy, they sure can't make a good cup like good ole Timmies." As he is drinking a 50/50 cream to coffee mix. Yeah a-hole, and I bet you think the Lasagna 'Casserole' at 'Timmies' is considered fine Italian dining.
If you want cheap, fast good coffee, go to Macdonalds. a) It actually tastes decent and b) you don't have to put up with Tim Tards and lineups. Maybe, one day, when Tim Hortons gets an express line so you can grab a coffee in under 2 minutes, I will try again, and grab their steeped tea which is actually quite good. Until then, they can shove their crappy coffee up their butt.
This post was dedicated to MMF.
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