Quote:
Originally Posted by 1stLand
Maybe the secret is for men to stay single in perpetuity and just have good old fashion irresponsible fun.
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I know this was partially in jest, but it brings up an interesting question. We keep hearing that men are taking longer to grow up, that men are declining, men no longer want to commit, etc. The question is, why would we? Unless a man truly wants children, then what reason does he have to get married or commit to a woman, other than to appease her wishes.
If you believe the socio-biological theories regarding men and sexual promiscuity, then it makes sense why marriage is declining. We're hardwired to spread our seed to as many different partners as possible, and marriage severely limits those opportunities. Prior to the sexual revolution, people generally only had 1-2 sexual partners over entire lifetimes, and marriage was often the only way to secure sexual activity.
These days I think it's pretty rare to find people in 20-30 age range who've had less than 10 sexual partners, and most guys know that you can be sexually active without being married. There are still cultural and psychological stigmas attached to promiscuity among women, which also stem from socio-biological factors. Men generally don't want to commit to women who've had an abundance of sexual partners. This is pretty evident in the deification of female virginity in pretty much all cultures. Is this hypocritical? Absolutely, but there is evidence that this train of thought is pretty well hardwired into most men.
If you think the socio-biological aspect is crap when it comes to promiscuity, then there are other psychological and cultural factors that play into it. For most guys, sex is at least partially an affirmation of their own status. Again this might socially constructed or reinforced by conservative morality teachings that have led many men to believe that women will only have sex with men they truly care about. However, for women who've had multiple partners it's hard to make the case that sexual intimacy with one particular man is indicative of a special bond.
Taking sex out of the equation, you can look at relationships from an emotional perspective and it's still a hard sell for men in the present. I've yet to know a guy who prefers the company of his wife/girlfriend to his buddies in any area other than the bedroom. Even if this were the case, as it is right now a guy can have emotional relationships with more women by not committing than he can by committing to one woman. I've also yet to meet an honest dude who enjoys doing non-bedroom things with his wife/girlfriend more than his buddies.
I suppose there's always the love angle, but I think with the way we're finding ourselves in an increasingly disnechanted and rational world, most people are realizing that the concept of love is more a measure of compatibility than any kind of magical connection with a single person.