I think this summed up the issue pretty well:
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The mixed messages are what Kay Hymowitz calls "the gender bait-and-switch." The bait is the fact that men have become used to women who are at least as competent as they are, financially, socially, and sexually. The switch comes when women-suddenly, inexplicably, and irrationally, as men see it-want to leave the level playing field and expect men to bring them roses and court them, if not spread their topcoats over puddles.
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Women want an independent yet vulnerable man who shows his sensitive side. They want a breadwinner who will pamper them and treat them like a princess, but who also treats the woman as an exact equal. A guy who is successful but has enough time to take care of their needs. They want chivalry and doors held, but they don't want to be treated like women are on a pedestal and delicate flowers.