[pylon]

It is weird, there has been a lot of cyclist on cyclist hate this year.

This is what happened to me mid Sept. I wanted to post the story in the gear grinder thread at the time, and had it typed out, but it seemed so unbelievable I didn't. Anyway, TLDR warning but here it goes.

I am in North Glenmore park, just getting ready to cross the bridge in the valley, right before the big long hill back up to the north side. I am behind a guy on a mountain bike I am on my road bike. There were some pedestrians on the bridge, and I kid you not, he rang his bell a MINIMUM of 30 times to warn them. Even the people on the bridge looked at him like ,"OK, we get it." Meanwhile I have rung my bell behind him trying to warn him, even did a couple "On your left's!" to warn I want to pass. He stops in the middle of the bridge and leans against the rail blocking me off. I slam on my brakes and nearly hit the guy.

Him "I would have liked to hear a bell 30 meters back a-hole"

Me: "I rang it about 10 times, and verbally warned you but because you wouldn't stop ringing yours a million times like a ######, you probably didn't hear it."

Him: "F you dickhead!"

I flip him the bird and just ride away.

Anyway, I am on about my 80th KM of the day, and I am just relaxing up the big hill in my bottom gear. Up behind me comes this guy charging up the hill, standing on the pedals. Slows up beside me.

I was just about to laugh off the incident, and joke about the whole thing with the guy, and he opens his yap.

Him: "Is that a road bike? Cause if it is you must be out of shape you f'n queer." Then he horks on me.

Me (Rage mad, insta-adrenaline shake): "You better f$#%ng start pedaling hard because when we get to the top of this hill I am going to rip your f'n head off."

Him: "F-you queer haahahaha (maniacal laughter), and he pulls ahead."

I geared up 4 gears, frikkin stood on my pedals and probably nearly broke my chain mashing up the hill. I caught up neck and neck, tell him I am going to kill him at the top of the hill. I pass him, get to the top, clipped out, get off, put my bike in the grass and waited. He darts off through the grass like a total pu55y (knowing I can't on a road bike) across to the to the parking lot. I grab my bike start hauling up the path until I find a place I can cut across. I get off again, run across the grass with it on my bike on my shoulder in cycling shoes (this is not easy lol), hop back on it, and start chasing this clown down.

I catch the guy, and he is completely out of gas, and now we are just kinda rolling at a slow pace. I gave this guy about 10 chances to get off, and back his words up.

Me: "Get of the bike pu55y. Lets finish this."

Him: "Make me."

Me: Swerve towards him and try and jab him, he slows down, or u-turns.

Repeat this about 10 times. He looks scared too, because I have him cornered, and he knows he can't outrun me on a mountain bike.

I even horked right back on him, called his mother filthy names, called him out for every flaw I could see, but this a-hole would get off his bike and settle it. I wanted so bad to just tackle the guy off my bike, but that meant hundreds of dollars possible over a thousand dollars of damage to my bike. Plus with clip in pedals that could have meant fighting the guy with a 18 pound bike attached to my foot..lol. Also I wanted a mutual throw down with this guy, as someone was following in a car watching this all go down. Didn't want an assault charge.

Anyway, I finally give up, and in a weird calm moment, I say to this guy, like in the calm after the storm, "You do know, one day, you will think about what a coward you were today, and be utterly ashamed of yourself for what a total pu55y you were. Nobody but that guy in the Camry back there saw this go down, but you know and I know, you f'n wussed out." He had this look on his face of confusion, like what I actually said made sense to him. I just gave up and rode off.

I don't care who you are, some stranger horks a loogie on you, it is go time. Do that to a cop, it is an assault charge. Anyway, that whole incident pissed me off so bad, I stopped riding for a couple weeks. That is when I went from being a cyclist, to being a guy that just likes to ride his bike. Yes, cyclists are a-holes.

All over a bell FFS.

couple edits I think are important to the story, to paint the picture right:

1) This guy had to have been 40-45, and looked like a professional, not a punk. He was on about a $3000 Specialized full suspension.

2) I was wearing a full body cycling unitard thingy...lol, and looked kinda like a gay power ranger.