[Teh_Bandwagoner]

Originally Posted by Crazy Bacon Legs

I am going to assume you work in either theatre or are a diplomat. I could see either based on your post.

Some suggestions:

• Put on a private production of the musical "Annie". This will show that you are melancholy about leaving, yet hopeful about the future. Theatre people love junk like that, because they are idiots.
• Hold an American Idol-style contest in which people must juggle baked goods to calliope music
• Throw a black tie affair involving heads of state from various geographically isolated, small, underdeveloped countries. You and your colleagues can make snide remarks about their lack of land mass and constantly make innuendo-filled remarks about how how tiny their cute little nation-states are. I suggest mocking them by drinking fresh water, and then occasionally just pouring your glass of water on the ground. Shrug as if to say "Whatcha gonna do, Vanuatu? We gots plenty more where that comes from." Threaten to go to war with them if they eat too much cheese dip. Make comments like "It must be neat to come from a country where your biggest accomplishment in the past year was 'discovering fire'."

I am pretty sure you said you're a diplomat. So make sure you go out on a high note, and stay classy. When I have left past employment gigs, my going away parties have been variously described as "legendary," "unfortunate," "frightening to most mammals," and "subject to war crimes prosecution." Maybe keep things in check a little. No party is worth being dragged in front of those animals in The Hague for. It's not my fault if people take the phrase "take no prisoners" literally.

That said, are pants optional at your workplace? I have some great ideas, but most of them require you to not have pants. I don't want anyone to get hurt just because they have pants.

Truly, you are a king among men.