Maybe buy your car some flowers, fire some red wine into the gas tank. Whisper that your car is the most gorgeous car in the world, those tires, that stereo, good god, tell your car that your lucky to have her.
Then take a sham wow and rub those tires, make em shine.
Give your car a full tank of premium gasoline, and one of those perfumed in car scent things.
Then try the key, maybe lube it up with some oil first and gently push it into that slot, give it a little giggle if need be.
But that some b%tch should turn.
Then do it in the butt.
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My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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