[CaptainCrunch]

Marriage

Pros

1) Its nice to come home to somebody that loves you with all of their heart
2) Great sounding board when things go crappy at work or whatever
3) The whole collaborative partnership thing
4) Two incomes
5) You know that your going to get sex (see cons)
6) balance
7) Possibility of kids (see cons)
8) Your house looks a little nicer
9) sharing body heat on a cold night
10) Sharing experiences with someone

Cons

1) You have to go home to someone else thats living in your space
2) Yeah try using her for a sounding board and she'll try to top your problems
3) You eventually become a junior partner in the arrangement
4) Oh she's a shopaholic, but gets pissed off when you buy a $10.00 hammer
5) She will eventually crash your car, and its your fault
6) Balance, sure, but there will be a lot of days when you come home and ittttssss all about her, and your a ####### who doesn't listen, and you seeing her in bed with another man is a complete misunderstanding because her chiropractor does house calls and her back hurts for carrying your worthless carcass through this marriage
7) Sex . . . yeah once a month of 5 minutes of missionary because she's tired, and kiss hummers and anything else goodbye because she didn't really like doing that when you were dating. Oh and she's too tired for sex because of the work and the kids, and yeah she's gained 60 pounds, but would it hurt you to tell her that you love her once in a while, and your not exactly svelte anymore.
8) Shared housework, and somehow your the one cleaning the toilets.
9) Sharing the body heat means that the covers belong to her, oh and anyone that tells you that woman don't let go massive smelly farts is completely lying, I'm talking tears to the eyes here gentleman.
10) Kids are the 16 year countdown to the destruction of your car, and they're small, and needy and they're money vacuums, and just wait until your not really dad anymore but that ####### who doesn't understand how hard it is to be a teenager, and get out of my room.
11) Shared vacation means that you go somewhere cool and never leave the hotel, not because your having sex, but because your too exhausted for the other 50 weeks of your life. And one day your looking at that woman that used to be so pretty and funny and energetic and now you're waiting for her to order you to be frozen in carbonite, and she looks at you and remembers when you played sports all the time, and could see your feet and could give a crap about shaving on the weekend and she sees ralph Cranston.

Any questions?