So IliketoPuck made a comment in another thread that I thought was pretty interesting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IliketoPuck
The world is way too sensitive about little things that really don't affect you [like] rewarding kids for "participation." All that it teaches them is to be entitled and that if they tried their "best" it is good enough. Sorry. If you aren't first, you're last. But that discussion is not for this thread.
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I would have agreed wholeheartedly with this before having kids, but now with a four and five year-old, I disagree with the practicality of the sentiment.
Seriously, you have to help build your kids' self esteem and self confidence. If we only praise them for the things they're good at, they'll never try or gain some proficiency at things out of their comfort zone. I praise my kids for participating in things all the time.
Take soccer for example...my daughter got a trophy just for participating in 5 year-old soccer this spring. She's really proud of it and I'm proud of her for getting out there every game, rain or shine, even when she didn't want to. It helps make her a better person, and the trophy is a token she can use to remember there can be rewards for hard work.
In her case, she wasn't the star of the team by any stretch. She's a great swimmer, but not a top notch soccer player. I still think it's good for her to do both, and I definitely don't want her to think of herself as a loser at soccer. Her trying her best at soccer really is good enough for me and should be for her as well.
IDK, I just don't buy this whole we're-turning-our-kids-into-pansies-by-rewarding-mediocrity nonsense.
All that said, I need to see effort out of my kids or there is no praise. If they're trying their hardest, though, what more can you expect out of them and why would you withhold praise?