[bc-chris]

Nothing in Monte Carlo is understated, from the baubles to the yachts to the bank accounts. Now add traffic pile-ups to that list.

The Hope Diamond of fender benders unfolded yesterday in possibly the most conspicuous stretch of asphalt in the .75-square-mile principality - the round-about in front of the James Bond-worthy casino - when three blondes in a jelly-bean blue Bentley Azure ($363,000) scraped the rear of a white Mercedes-Benz S-Class (a paltry $108,000). And that was merely the appetizer.

Served up for the main course were a hapless black Ferrari F430 ($186,000), which was hit nose-first by the 2.7-ton Bentley. Then, like two tankers mashing in the fog, a four-door Aston Martin Rapide ($223,000) crunched into the Azure's passenger door. The cherry on this metal, plastic and carbon-fiber shattering souffle: a stray Porsche 911 ($90,000).

the jokes just write themselves