Having lived in Sydney and having been to all the cities listed, I'd probably rate my own order of preference as:
1. Melbourne
2. Brisbane
3. Perth
4. Adelaide
Melbourne is buzzy, the biggest city on the list and the best selection of bars, restaurants, shopping, etc.
Brisbane is a bit quieter but still lots of variety and is ideally situated to take advantage of the Gold Coast (with its amusement parks) and beaches, which is something teenage children might appreciate. My fiancee is from there and she hates it but I think that's largely just hometown ambivalence; I think she secretly likes it, she just doesn't want to live there again.
Perth is a lovely city, enough going on to prevent it from being boring, would be a nice place to raise a family. Maybe it's a bit isolated but the south coast of Western Australia is awesome to go for holidays, or fly up to Broome for the tropical experience.
Adelaide is pretty sleepy, but probably a good family city although teenage kids might hate it as it is probably too sleepy. Maybe if they were younger it'd be okay, but they'll get bored too easily if they're in their teens.
You might be surprised at how far away the beach is from the CBD (downtown) areas in all four of these cities. Whereas Bondi Beach is about a 20 minute bus ride from Sydney's CBD, in the rest of Australia's capital cities you've got a bit further to go. But then again you can find a suburban home that is closer to the beach than to the CBD if that's what you value.
If you and your wife like wine, all of these cities except Brisbane are located close to major wine growing regions which is always fun for a weekend getaway. Brisbane is ideally located to take advantage of the Queensland resort towns like Noosa and Airlie Beach. Melbourne is the best spot if you want to ski in the winter although you'd be better off flying to New Zealand to do that.
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