[Locke]

The Fifth Official:

Gomes, by Jerry Seinfeld
If ever there was a 90-second chapter to illustrate why Tottenham won't be tasting the heady delights of Champions League football again for a while, it arrived at the palace for part-time prevaricators, White Hart Lane, in their struggle with the 'dirtiest dogs in the zone' Blackpool.

It was an instalment of calamity that might as well have been scripted by Jerry Seinfeld given how amusing it was, once again cast Heurelho Gomes in the leading role. After saving one penalty, brilliantly, Gomes was so intoxicated on adrenaline and the buzz of the crowd that he conceded another one straight away just to prolong the feeling. Sadly, Charlie Adam made no mistake second time round, despite the protestations of DJ, and 'Arry was left to ponder whether he'd be better off employing Kramer in goal - at least he has a canny knack of getting there in the nick of time.

Manchester City's defeat at Everton had offered Spurs a tantalising look at the dazzling junk in the Champions League trunk, but their third successive home draw meant it slammed firmly shut. Added to that was a nasty looking injury to delicate flower Gareth Bale after Charlie Adam's vicious stamp on the Welshman's ankle. But, of course, and altogether now: "He's not that type of player."

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