Quote:
Originally Posted by sergei_makarov
Thanks for all the comments, lots of good stuff in here. I think the post about not criticizing her family is actually completely correct and I let my feelings about her sister get to me and seized the opportunity if you will. I'll bite my tongue from now on.
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The old saying, "Blood is thicker than water" comes to mind in this situation. Those bonds between sisters will probably always be there to some extent, and you probably shouldn't be trying to weaken them.
I think it's very important to have a good relationship with the inlaws. It seems to me that there may be some oversensitivity and insecurity issues between you and your gf's older sister. Perhaps lighten up the situation by telling a joke, relating positive or happy things between you and the gf, etc.
I have found that sometimes the older sister-in-law can act like the proverbial Mother-in-law by adopting the attitude that "no one is quite good enough for my baby sister". This can be gradually overcome in time, by showing her that her misconception about you is false. I think marriage will probably go a long way to showing your commitment to the relationship.
Basically you have only 2 choices. Either work to make the family relationship more harmonious when living in close proximity, or as others have said, "Create some distance between you and the inlaws by moving".