I immediately question if you not getting along with her sister is actually the reason you fight with your girlfriend from time to time. I'm sure she wants you to get along with her, but to say it's one of the main reasons you fight seems a little dramatic. It reminds me of a buddy who's wife told him they'd probably have more sex if he spontaneously gave her back rubs. Didn't work... she just wanted more back rubs. She wrote a cheque her ass couldn't cash. Literally.
Definitely agree that you probably shouldn't join in the bitchfest when she's going off about her sister. Think about the Flames for 5-10 minutes and then give her a reassuring pat on the behind when she's done freaking out.
This doesn't seem like an overly serious problem. It's serious, but it could be a whole lot worse. Drop the guard, organize a bbq. Don't be overly offended if the sister doesn't reciprocate the kindness. She doesn't seem the type. Do your part and consider it a duty to your girlfriend.
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