Quote:
Originally Posted by Russic
I went on a diet last year. It was called "stop eating so much you fat ass".
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Reminded me of a Richard Jeni bit:
Quote:
Hey how you doin' thanks for tunin' in. Hey listen, if you're overweight you've got to try my diet plan that's worked for millions of people with your problem. It's called 'Stop Eatin You Fat #######'. Now here's a guy who writes me a letter he says, "Hey Joey, how do I know if I am a fat #######? That's a very good question. Here's 3 ways to know:
1 - When you go to a buffet, do the waitresses put on riot hats?
2 - Do you ever find yourself short of breath after combing your hair?
3 - Do you ever put money in your front pocket and realize you ain't wearing no pants?
Chances are you're a fat #######. So you send me, Joey, 1 buck and I'll send you my tape. It ain't video tape it ain't audio tape. You know what this is? Scotch tape. Take it a piece and put it over your mouth so the friggen' ice cream can't get in there and watch the pounds melt right off ya.
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