I just had my car written off too from an accident. It was his fault. I followed some of the advice in this other forum when it came to settling the value of my car. You realize very quickly what depreciating asset really means.
http://forums.redflagdeals.com/non-f...-money-430232/
Yes you do settle with your insurance company first and then they go after the other insurance company for their losses.
Basic rule is research the market value of your car and be prepared to defend the value with evidence from the market. Best places to look for similar make model, year and km's is at the dealer websites where they feature their inventory. Kijiji is typically overpriced for vehicles and dealers typically don't nudge on their used car prices.
Also in my case, I showed them receipts for some winter tires and other items recently added to the car. They reimbursed me for those and added it to the settlement.
This does become a PITA inconvenience because I didn't intend to buy another car for at least a few more years and live car payment free for as long as possible.
Good to know everyone was able to walk away okay for the most part.