[CaptainCrunch]

Compare football

4 downs to make 10 yards, really

We have bigger fields and an extra guy on each team to drive the snowplow

State the below in an NFL Films deep voice

We have hockey, a tough physical sport where you try to put a few ounces of frozen vulcanized rubber into a tiny net defended by an armoured tank by shooting this object at speeds of over 100 miles an hour. Meanwhile the players need to maneuver sharply on ice while wearing sharpened blades on their feet.

Then switch to a high pitched lyspe (sp?)

American's have basketball (A sport invented by Canadians who couldn't play hockey and then promptly ignored by the rest of us) a game where perfectly coiffed thin tall men jog up and down a court wearing fabulous shorts with the intent of throwing a ball through a hoop while playing man to man coverage. In fact, one of your best pure players is you guessed it Canadian.


And in History, America is famous for invasions of its soil, the biggest one being the beatles, but the one that you'd like to forget, the Canadian Invasion, the first one took place in 1812 when Canadians got drunk after a hockey game and made a road trip to the States and burned down the white house. The second invasion is ongoing duh duh daaa.