[driveway]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Soft in my age? I think its spelled SMART not SOFT. Fact is that the generation previous to mine invented this cool thing called an automobile. Its a horseless device that allows us to get from point A to Point B while listening to our favorite Benny Goodman CD in a heated environment with somewhat comfortable seats, in any weather condition.

Holy mother of God you're old:

http://www.cracked.com/article_16973...you-think.html

#10.The Automobile

Believed to have been invented in...

Late 19th century or early 20th century, or whatever the hell that World of Motion ride at EPCOT said.

Actually Invented in...

A French inventor named Nicolas Joseph Cugnot built one, back before the American Revolution.

Back when most people were blaming their diseases on fairies and the evil eye, Cugnot had one great idea: a horse carriage minus the stupid, smelly horse. In 1769, he finally finished his horseless carriage; a steam-engine-powered automobile that looked like a steampunk Big Wheel.

It could carry four tons while traveling at the break-neck speed of two and a half miles per hour (people had really weak necks in those days).

Why did we never read about Napoleon's mechanized, steam-powered army trampling England under their godless robotic wheels? Well, the inventions had problems. While testing his vehicle in 1771, Cugnot lost control and discovered the unique sensation we've come to know as "crashing into a brick wall." You might think that you could laugh off such a crash at five miles an hour, but try it while sitting in one of these #######s.

Despite being an undeniably revolutionary invention, it was still slow, heavy and horrible to drive. Cugnot ran out of money to improve his invention, and while the French government was interested in continuing with the idea, a little uprising of the people called the French Revolution put an end to that.

Cugnot escaped to Belgium where he lived in poverty. Fun fact: There were about 600-700 million people on earth when Cugnot was born. That's also how many cars there are now.