Quote:
Originally Posted by scotty2hotty
I think you're dreaming if you think you can date other girls while also working on things with your ex. Even if she says it's ok ... it's not.
If you really think you want to get back with her, then do it. Give it a month or two of honest effort then make a decision.
If you think you want to date other girls, then do that and don't see your ex at all. What if you meet a new girl you like and she finds out you're still seeing your ex? Then you blew it with this new one and you're screwed from both ends (no pun intended).
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I haven't read the whole thread yet, and it's because I agree with this post so much. I think it's borderline impossible to be objective with new women when your longtime girlfriend is still in the picture. Under those circumstances, you're going to measure the new against the old, either consciously or subconsciously, and that will only magnify the negatives of both women.
The problem is comfort. You're already past the annoying dating and 'getting to know' stage with your ex. That's going to be a huge plus in your mind. It will convince you that the new woman you're seeing has greater flaws than she actually has. On the other hand, you're going to like some of the new woman's personality traits - traits that your ex lacked - and that will make you dwell on the reasons why you're kinda happy that you're not with your ex anymore. Lose/lose. Both women are cast in a negative light.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with "trying again" with your ex. If that's what you think you want, go for it. Just don't try to juggle a longtime with a fresh start. It'll drive you crazy. And keep in mind one more thing: if you're seeing other people while seeing your ex, she is too. Are you ok with that? Yeah, didn't think so. Either try again, or move on. Three years is a long time. It's way beyond that point where you don't care who she's ####ing. You do care. And seeing her on Friday will make you wonder what she's doing on Saturday. Not like the new woman. With the new woman, you totally accept the fact that you're just getting to know each other.
As far as juggling a couple/few new prospects, go right ahead. Measure one against the others. Figure out what you want. Just don't let memories of your ex, or even worse, phone calls and dates with your ex, interfere.